Crying over spilt milk...

I'm reading a book at the moment: The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide. Sounds riveting in a somewhat self pitying- self help book kind of way. It gives you all the information you'll need to get someone close to you to understand your way of living with da da daaaaaaaaaaaaaa............... a mental illness.

As much as I hate the term, the label somewhat helps people to understand what they are dealing with.

Crying over spilt milk......

If you spill milk you probably curse and dab it up, annoyed with yourself but accepting the mistake as human error. Mistakes are part of real and normal life and occur as natural accidents, and you accept these.
I find it hard to do this. If I spill milk or break something, often my reaction is not as you might predict. If I drop a glass, smash a mirror or break something fragile while I'm patiently trying to put it together I completely cave. its like this volcano inside me erupts and liquid anger spews out of my head, my face, my mouth. Its like something I can't control, its this hatred I have for the moment. Maybe not the actual act of dropping or breaking but the fact that in that moment of losing control of anger I have lost control enough to let something break.

It sounds so trivial, but at that time, in that moment, thats the only thing that matters.
And then I'm completely engulfed by that sickness.

A coma might feel better, better than this.........

The Bipolarbear rears its ugly head

So i've heard that Polar Bears are incredibly dangerous creatures. They have massive claws that could rip your face off in a second, and jaw power so extreme it could smash your skull with one bite. They are fast, ferocious, and hunt perilously for their next meal, whether thats a Seal, a Walrus or sleeping Eskimos.


 So Polar Bears are not the sort of animals that you probably want to find yourself familiar with when your chillin in your igloo on a nice frosty day in the Arctic. 
Just to provide you with some more chilling facts of Polar Bears and how incredibly scary they are read the following info:

Claws. Polar Bear claws are thick and curved, sharp and strong. Each can measure more than two inches (5.1 centimeters) long. Bears use their claws to catch and hold prey


Teeth. A Polar Bear's teeth are sharp so they can shear off chunks of meat. Their canine teeth are long, sharp, and widely spaced so they can seize and hold prey.

Bi-polar bears? Polar bears live only in Arctic areas that surround the North Pole—not in Antarctica, which surrounds the South Pole. School children often see illustrations of Penguins and Polar Bears together, but this could never happen. In fact, the word arctic comes from the Greek word for Bear, and Antarcticcomes from the Greek meaning the opposite, Without Bear. 

-Thanks http://www.polarbearsinternational.org/polar-bears/bear-essentials-polar-style/myths-and-misconceptions

That was truly Chilling stuff (see what I did there..)
ahem...


Bipolar bears have much the same stigma attached to their presence as inner city or suburban roamers. Bipolar bears don't hunt, don't go looking for their prey to catch and maim and eat. They don't have particularly sharp claws and the power of their jaws couldn't beat the powerful creation that is the sugar candy "jawbreaker". No the common  Bipolar bear is just 
like you or me. Ok maybe not exactly like you...





"I`m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."- Marilyn Monroe




Take this phrase, just your regular over-quoted Facebook quotation. Take this phrase and amplify it by 100. 


Selfish-Defined in the dictionary:


adjective(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure: I joined them for selfish reasons. 


Selfish to you means a different Selfish to me....


If you keep saying it enough it starts to lose all meaning...selfish selfish selfish.


Selfish for you can mean not sharing your last rolo, or not giving up your seat on the bus for that frail old lady..  Selfish to you could be not going out for your friends birthday because you can't be bothered. 


I can take Selfish to a whole different level.


A sickness that can't be cured, only tamed. 
Selfish could be my middle name. Selfish should be my middle name.


Ahhhh and the Bipolar bear rears its ugly head.